Morality Maven T-Shirts

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'I don't actually do evil any more. I lobby congressmen.'

The Little Engine that Faced a Tough Moral Dilemma.

'If you don't like war toys. . . we have an identical set, but the box is labelled PEACE KEEPER ACTION FIGURES.'

Mass Confucian

Good study habits based on honesty will serve you well all your life! Employers look for trustworthy people who don't cheat! Values Assembly. Who's she talking about? It sure doesn't apply to me. I'm going to be a hedge fund manager. Yeah? Well, I'm headed to Hollywood!

A man who sends a fifty-pound note for unpaid income tax

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

"Death is bad" - Confucius as a child.

'Gosh, it just breaks my heart to see someone so young and talented held back by his own chronic decency!'

'James is very persuasive.'

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Nun Binning the Devil

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'Do you mind if I take the rest of the session to get your input on investor psychology?'

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."

Frank and Ernest Pet Psychiatry. There's nothing sadder than a bloodhound trying to find himself.

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

Making a pact with the devil at the crossroads.

'Notice how much happier everyone is since I added anti-anxiety meds to our bottled water?'

'I want you to be aware the bats in my belfry are a protected species.'

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."