Moose Maverick Gifts

"I escaped."

Cellphone Islands

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'First of all, relax.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Rogue elephant

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

Ski kicker.

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

Biker chopper shopper

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"Well, I guess this rock sample pretty much clears up any lingering doubts about life on Mars!"

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Absurd motorbike

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'Goopta took early retirement.'

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

A misery of mole hills