Mountain Maverick Gifts

Mountain rescue team standing on the lost climber.

'Mountain goats are soft.'

'Whew! You're a tough girl to stalk.'

'I'll see your 10,000 Arizona acres ripe for development and I'll raise you 10,000 acres of glorious mountain hideaways in New Mexico.'

"If I knew the ingredients in Mama's pasta sauce I'd tell you."

Ted and Brian's Everest moment was ruined when a fat clown wandered into the wrong cartoon by mistake.

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Swiss Skier

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

Winter Games

'It's a hell of a climb but it's worth it!'

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

'First of all, relax.'

"Saying what? Hey! Did he just take off without me? Jerk!

Ski kicker.

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Ask about our new prophet sharing plan.

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

Expectations vs. Bitterness

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Cellphone Islands

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."