Moonlight Joker Gifts

"Damnedest eclipse I'VE ever seen."

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

ET Mishap

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Santa's Helpers

Pole Star

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Climbing to the moon

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Scary Face at Window

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Whoops!'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."