Monster Story Fan Gifts

'So the little boy who missed his bedtime was eaten by the awful slimy monster and was never heard from again.'

“God, no! It’s ripping me apart!!” “The very very hungry caterpillar”

Sanitation Dept. Recycle. Trust me, it's best not to look too closely in Dr. Frankenstein's recycling bins!

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Look! No hands!"

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

Zombies.

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

King Kongs first christmas

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

King Kong Takes a Personal Day

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Official Fight Cards

'Head down...eye on the ball...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

"There goes our early night."

"So, is there something more interesting outside the window than today's lesson, Jones?..."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'