Monster Movie Maven T-Shirts

"See, this why we can't have nice things."

Cinema nasties

Monkey Rejection

"Budget? What budget?"

"Don't panic, Doris, it's just a giant gorilla don't hurt it, it's a protected species!"

Muscles

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Save the unicorn.

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

Upper West Side Story

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"This is off our first TikTok."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"Now all we need is a good script."