Monkey Maniac Gifts

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

So you're a mocking bird...

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Spell checker!'

Giant slug attacks a city

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

Addiction to mobile.

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

Love Hurts

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

King Richard I

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"