Money-minded Couch Sitter Gifts

'When did our cable bill get higher than our mortgage?'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I am a control freak."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

Mud Slinging

"Why can't you just bat the ball of yarn around like other cats?"

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

WARNING - This Programme Contains No Strong Language.....

'He's training for the London Marathon,he watches it every year.'

"He called in sick 2 years ago and now he doesn't remember where he works."

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

'Here we go again, Mr Gloez, you are NOT a couch mechanic!'

'She's not actually missing yet but I'll be in Brazil next week.'

Will assuage guilt for money.

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

'Next we have a fabulous double-play combo - two players, one low price!'