Money-minded Couch Sitter Gifts

'When did our cable bill get higher than our mortgage?'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I am a control freak."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

Mud Slinging

"Why can't you just bat the ball of yarn around like other cats?"

WARNING - This Programme Contains No Strong Language.....

If you're going to wear a GoPro, Larry, you have to actually go.

'He's training for the London Marathon,he watches it every year.'

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

"He called in sick 2 years ago and now he doesn't remember where he works."

'Here we go again, Mr Gloez, you are NOT a couch mechanic!'

'She's not actually missing yet but I'll be in Brazil next week.'

'Next we have a fabulous double-play combo - two players, one low price!'

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Will assuage guilt for money.

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"