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'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Ask About our Free Investment Advice: 'The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed investment advice for a fee.'

'The good news is, you have money up the wazoo. The bad news is, you're constipated.'

"Amazing - from up here I can't even see the foundations that we're built on."

"Darling, who shall we leave our debts to?"

'Twelve financial analysts came up with 12 different valuations for this company. All they had in common was their $500hr fee.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"And in what denomination would you like your 'every last damn cent'?"

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Welcome to Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, the investment hindsight show.'

'And remember, son, never put in your two cents worth...'

'While fossil fuels are not renewable resources, the good news is greed and fear are.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"If you throw it to me I'll introduce you to my financial advisor."

'Congratulations Mr. Hendeson, your gross income has just become a totally gross income!'

"Go forth and multiply"

"I thought you said no bonuses this year?"

'Wall Street' street sign with cross walk light reading 'Get Real'

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

The Buck Stops here.

"My investment adviser told me to go for short term capital gains."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Financial Advice - 'Yes, this product will make a lot of money, but not necessarily for you.'

'If you want to prepare for you retirement, why don't you buy a bank like I did?'

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

'If it weren't for the fees on my fees, I wouldn't make any money.'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

The company's founder was a man of few words, but apparently buy and sell were all he needed.

"This is big ... a bank is actually approving a loan."

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

"We offer 35% interest on money you never withdraw!"

'I'm looking for some high yield income funds to tide me over between student loans and social security.'