Monetary Mischief Maker Gifts

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'Remember when you lent me money and I said I'd never forget you? Well, I'm broke again.'

"Bad dog."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Less expensive equivalent.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

'Give me a mortgage!...'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'I was...wong about that stock. I was wonk about that stock. I was wrung about that stock. I was...wronk about that stock. I was...'

The Left One As You Look At It.

Genetic Engineer - 'Can't get the parts mate!'

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"I'd like you to supply me with a urine, faeces and sperm sample Mr Brooks."

One C Battery, Two Double A's.

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

Burnt Turkey

"The numbers just don't add up."

'Throw Your Money Down a Rathole' vending machine.

"No, I'm not prescribing a plasma T. V. for you, just plasma."

"I'll take a look at it, but I don't know much about green cars."

Quilp defies the dog

"Yes I know it says they have a value of one mil, sir, but I can't take these coupons for a deposit!"

Businessman of the Year Awards.