Monetary Mischief Maker Gifts

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'Remember when you lent me money and I said I'd never forget you? Well, I'm broke again.'

"Bad dog."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Less expensive equivalent.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

'Give me a mortgage!...'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'I was...wong about that stock. I was wonk about that stock. I was wrung about that stock. I was...wronk about that stock. I was...'

The Left One As You Look At It.

Genetic Engineer - 'Can't get the parts mate!'

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"I'd like you to supply me with a urine, faeces and sperm sample Mr Brooks."

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

"The numbers just don't add up."

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

Burnt Turkey

One C Battery, Two Double A's.

'Throw Your Money Down a Rathole' vending machine.

"No, I'm not prescribing a plasma T. V. for you, just plasma."

Quilp defies the dog

"Yes I know it says they have a value of one mil, sir, but I can't take these coupons for a deposit!"

"I'll take a look at it, but I don't know much about green cars."