Monastic Meal Planner T-Shirts

'May I recommend the monk fish, sir?

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"Namasteak"

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'