Moms-to-be Gifts

Pregnant woman doing exercises.

Pool attached to child's bed.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

So … you do a lot of yoga?

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

Fitness Programme for babies

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

In the DNA Kitchen

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"They look so young and helpless."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."