Mom Instinct Admirer Pillows

Funny how moms know when you're going to do something naughty at the exact time you're doing it.

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Miracle Mom #5,293

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Open other end

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

The Smell of Fear

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Man painting MOM on boat

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

She's good, but Mom's better.

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Single parents.

'She's the primary caregiver!'

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"Mother, you were right."

Mother and Baby

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

'As near as I can figure something bad happened and they're both in on it.'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

"I'm not real good at promoting myself, so I brought my mom."

"It's done wonders for my back."

'Why spend $12 million on market research? I'll just ask my mom.'

"Nothing much. Just going to get rid of some belly fat."

'What do you mean we should seek marriage counseling? Do you realise how much we can save just by listening to your mother?!'

Momco