Mom-and-pop Enthusiast Gifts

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

vaccine wars.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"You've changed."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Suffering from Cooties?

"Walt Disney on ice."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm gonna be late for dinner."

The Da Vinci Cod

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

I love my family!

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"