Mom-and-pop Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

vaccine wars.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Anna Calvi

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

George Michael

"You've changed."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Walt Disney on ice."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Suffering from Cooties?

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm gonna be late for dinner."

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

The Da Vinci Cod

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"