Mollusc Maniac Gifts

Snail with a Box Shell

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Shell Fire

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Love Hurts

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Lox Ness Monster

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

Mammoth hoover

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

An elevator door opens to reveal rows of teeth

'He was an evil king.'

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

Small Clams Court

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'