Mollusc Maniac Gifts

Snail with a Box Shell

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Shell Fire

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

Butterfly Sales

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Love Hurts

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

Zoo. Marsupials. What's the difference between a possum and an opossum? The opossum is an Irish possum.

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

Mummies busking.

Mammoth hoover

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'He was an evil king.'

An elevator door opens to reveal rows of teeth

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians: Part Two

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

Small Clams Court

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'

Ancient Egyptian Curser