Molecular Gastronomy Fan Pillows

In the DNA Kitchen

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Before/After

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

I'm not insulting you --- You are a fatty acid!

"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."

"What are we doing for Cinco de Mayo this year?"

"Who had the rainforest vinaigrette?"

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

"I'm a genetically engineered chicken substitute."

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

"Needs a pinch of salt."

Pretty Soon: Bioengineering will produce livestock which requires less processing.

"Why are you crossing a turkey with an octopus?"

101 Placenta Recipes

'I'm removing you from the research department, Jones!'

"They offer a great three-course meal -- one appetizer and two desserts."

"Could sir kindly eat more slowly, the signature dish takes a rather long time to make."

Wild Honey Maple Turkeys

Firewood for Sale

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

Traditional Russian Nesting Egg Doll Thanksgiving... Turducken

"Lemming" Meringue Pie