Modernization Skeptics Gifts

'Isn't it terrible how they've gone and ruined everything!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

Computerized society.

Down With Wikipedia

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Nethead strip: Fashion sense

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"To give it credibility let's tell the boss we stole our business idea from the Japanese instead of thinking it up ourselves!"

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

Computers: In and Obsolete.

Modern day smoke signals.

'Appleby believes he's come up with a way to defeat facial recognition software.'

STRIP Hambone: We've been computerized

"Subscribe to receive a new commandment every month."

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'