Modern Warfare Gifts

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Putin and Zelensky

Soldier armed with a pen.

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"I feel your pain."

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

A General tries to get rid of peace.

"Hot Pocket"

Business man reading 'Thinking Outside the Chair'

The Use of Cavalry

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Don't Worry, Joe, about Afghanistan

John McCain, pre-RIP

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'