Modern Warfare Gifts

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Putin and Zelensky

Soldier armed with a pen.

"I feel your pain."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

A General tries to get rid of peace.

"Hot Pocket"

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

Business man reading 'Thinking Outside the Chair'

The Use of Cavalry

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

I love invading Switzerland, just for the hot chocolate.

"I'm new at this - how long did it take you to get things under control?"

"I have to use the rest room. Would you mind mumbling 'Mm-hmm' on my conference call for a few minutes?"