Modern-day Warrior Gifts

"The system's down."

War and Technology

"Goliath? We want you to defeat a tech giant."

"I feel your pain."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Second lifeReal life.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

Business man sees himself as a shark

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Hot dog.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"Go back to sleep? Sleep at the office?"

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"Awake and doing great"

The Jerck Manual

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"We were really looking for someone who could lead people. How many followers do you have on Twitter?"

Man in a tank with several grannies painted on the side

Psychotic mood swing.

Axes 'R' Us Store

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

"You have some serious bed head, Dear."

We leave Jim alone until he's at least 90% charged. (49%)

"Told you we shouldn't list each other as emergence contacts."

"Relax dear. You haven't 'put on a ridiculous amount of weight'. You've just forgotten to take off your armour."

"Mother, please!"

In Tray and Out Tray