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'Trick or treat!' Now if you could just enter your PIN.'

The following morning, Jack somehow sensed that what his 'magic beans' had turned into, although still quite unremarkable looking, had the ability to lift him above his humble, mundane life.

"Mother, I've sold the cow on the dark web for 3 bitbeans."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

The circus diver.

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

then, one day, when Robin's men were making merry, the deer struck.

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

You know I can't do the twist.

"I think he must have had a death wish"

"It's for you. You've got jury duty."

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"

Deux Ex Mechanic

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

Prince charming frog is actually a scientist

'I really thought that a biker bar called the Snake Pit would be a biker bar....'

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

'Unfortunately the 'motivational speaker' we'd booked couldn't be bothered to turn up.'

Santa the mugger.

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.

Hansel and Gretal.

'I'm a butcher by trade.'

The modern version.

"I didn't have time to go shopping,so I just wrote him a nice check."