Lover Of Modern Twists T-Shirts

"Velcro!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

"Today we learn all about books. Does everyone have their tablets?"

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

Diet Sugar House.

'What are you implying?'

'I'd say your financial future is looking bright.'

False starts.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

"Mother, I've sold the cow on the dark web for 3 bitbeans."

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

Hansel and Gretal.

"I didn't have time to go shopping,so I just wrote him a nice check."

'Trick or treat!' Now if you could just enter your PIN.'

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

The modern version.

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

Santa takes the lift to the roof.

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

"After all these years keeping the books for us, it turns out you embezzled thousands? Why, mom?"

Plane spells out 'Will you marr...' Inauspicious beginnings.

The following morning, Jack somehow sensed that what his 'magic beans' had turned into, although still quite unremarkable looking, had the ability to lift him above his humble, mundane life.

Finishing Line

Snake charmer has been eaten by his snake.

The Three Bears and Gridlock: The story of a family whose house was raided while they were stuck in traffic.