Lover Of Twists On Classics T-Shirts

Diet Sugar House.

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

"In accepting this hemlock, I should like to thank the entire team for its dedication in making 'the Socratic method' a byword. And, of course, my devoted wife, Xanthippe."

'What are you implying?'

False starts.

'I'd say your financial future is looking bright.'

Why don't we wait until we know each other better before I tell you how I got the name 'Humpty'.

"Mother, I've sold the cow on the dark web for 3 bitbeans."

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

'Trick or treat!' Now if you could just enter your PIN.'

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

'The bad news is it's not a concert like we thought. The good news is it's much more important.'

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

"Velcro!"

"After all these years keeping the books for us, it turns out you embezzled thousands? Why, mom?"

'That's not quite what I meant, Rapunzel'

Plane spells out 'Will you marr...' Inauspicious beginnings.

Finishing Line

The following morning, Jack somehow sensed that what his 'magic beans' had turned into, although still quite unremarkable looking, had the ability to lift him above his humble, mundane life.

Snake charmer has been eaten by his snake.

"We met online after stealing each other's identities."

'I didn't THINK infiltration would work.'

"Press any key to continue."

Island

The Three Bears and Gridlock: The story of a family whose house was raided while they were stuck in traffic.

"I want to huff and puff and blow down a big beautiful wall."

'Have you gentlemen given any thought to the concept of animal rights?'

The bittersweet joy of running the fastest 100 meters in human history then realizing you've run it the wrong way.

Adult Books.

'The biggest surprise, after we split up, is he got my friends and I got his.'