Modern Twist Admirer T-Shirts

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

The circus diver.

The Final Selfie

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

If Shakespeare were alive today

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

'To be built on this site - an exact duplicate of the building that was just turn down (we liked the international style after all).

then, one day, when Robin's men were making merry, the deer struck.

Virginia Woolf

'Well - we are catfish.'

Mid century modern. Midwest boring

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

You know I can't do the twist.

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

"Very minimalist"

"Mother, I've sold the cow on the dark web for 3 bitbeans."

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"I didn't have time to go shopping,so I just wrote him a nice check."

Prince charming frog is actually a scientist

'I'm a butcher by trade.'