Modern Traditionalist Gifts

'And we also thank the FDA for this genetically engineered food.'

"The Wise Men brought gifts: ginseng, St John's and ginkgo biloba"

Nativity pizzas

Amish-ish.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'I'm sorry, is this going to be a long ancient legend? Because I'm doubled parked.'

'My boss wants us to appeal to a younger and hipper crowd. So, I'd like a tattoo that says 'Accountants Rule!''

''Goodwill to all men'...I've got an app for that.'

'If anyone objects to this union, Tweet now or forever hold your peace.'

'I spent a little extra, but it has LCD.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'The new recruits don't seem to have the same gravitas for the calling.'

'I think he's spent too much time in the city.'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

"Shall I see if they accept credit cards?"

'I couldn't decide so I'm giving a gift certificate.'

Punch and Hoody

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

Hip hop Santa.

Queen's Mobile

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

Cowboys playing guitar video games.

"You e-mailed me my Lord"

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

Search Injun in Silicon Valley

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

Family Bible.

The Forgotten Fourth King

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."

"Look! It's a sign!"

Mobile.

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"Herb's from Texas."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"