Modern Times Gifts

"I knew you'd like this place."

Walk signal deposit 25¢ push button

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Crap from the future.

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Did you get my tweet?"

No Immediate Danger

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Weird things I do because of the internet

Dawing your Cellphone

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Snoopy with Laptop

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Selfie Stick

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

The Modern Novel.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'