Modern Technology Users Gifts

''Swiper's Wrist.' I'm prescribing 7 to 10 days of 'Cash Purchases only.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

The First Fire Stick

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"We now allow our employees to send their drones in to work for them. It saves them time and money on gas."

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"So when do we go online?"

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'No, no briefcase... FLATSCREEN.'

'You're grounded... not you, the drone.'

'Text your leader and tell him I'm here.'

"This tribe doesn't live totally off the grid. They're selling T-shirts off their website, and they have a huge social media following."

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

"I'm on the haywain."

The Painting Channel

'Sorry, Big Guy, We're downsizing, Here comes your replacement,'

"Darling, he's just said his first word."

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."