Modern Storytelling Enthusiast Gifts

'Don't take this the wrong way but I would prefer the audio book version of 'Goodnight Moon' and a set or earphones.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Victor Hugo

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Two Generations of Readers

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Jacques et Jille

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Hansel and Gretal

"This is what's known as a book."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Alberich steals the gold

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."