Modern Slavery Critics Pillows

'Why do you keep this job? It's killing you.'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Down With Wikipedia

"Tarzan no want computer."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'

"I interpret the death penalty according to the times."

Van Gogh on Instagram.

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

"All I got was this participation ribbon."

"This whole forest is getting unbearably gentrified."

'I don't have a cell phone to look at, so I go to the mall and look at people looking at their cell phones.'

Shhhh

'Not Indigent. Just can't afford a life coach, job coach & health coach.'

The Very Thirsty Caterpillar

Hermit on island can't escape modern society.

Obese evolution

Before we begin, I'd like to ask that all cell phones be turned off.

"His coffee's always crap for about a week after the MacArthur genius-grant winners are announced."

"Great flash mob, isn't it?"

"Somewhere to cash a cheque, anywhere to cash a cheque."

Liposuction Drive Thru

"The networks are losing share and you sit there reading?"

To avoid losing his mobile phone George had it chained to the wall

Frank peels away civilizations fragile veneer and, much to his surprise, discovers beautiful hardwood floors underneath.

Baby Barcode Birthmark

"Reject the modern world."