Modern Sin Enthusiast Gifts

"According to our records, you Googled God's name in vain."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

The ten ammendments

"I have an app for that."

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Pope Francis

"Wow, souls seem a lot heavier lately"

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

'Could you give me big tits?'

'Glad you're still around. I thought you'd be an app by now.'

"Could you read the part where Stephen envisions life outside Dublin again?"

'You indulge in all the deadly sins. You have to expect a few health problems.'

'Yes, we;re a value-orientated investment fund.'

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

The Real Truth Why Adam and Eve Left the Garden of Eden

Rolf Fusco Receives A Text Message From God

'Impressive! You've accumulated the sins of a man three times your age.'

"Alright, I admit stopping to take a selfie outside of the bank, was a mistake."

Death stalks an old man

"He looked a lot bigger online."

"It's not a completely blind date - he sent me some promotional material."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'Wait! What's this? A text message from the other side.'