Modern Santa Pillows

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Pole dancers

Electric powered sleigh with wrong fitting.

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

'Don't think my knees can take much more of this Santa's grotto job...'

Santa's elevator

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"Just a reminder, Santa. Don't forget to yule log off when you're done."

For Santa's Drone

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

COVID Christmas

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

"Watch out. He's got the Naughty or Nice app."

"Okay Santa. It's time to quit cyber shopping for today!"

Boy Clause

Holiday Greetings

"Good mercy, can we have some sort of Santa Helper standards around here please?"

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

Santa Text Exchange

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

"Gee, I don't know—does it really say Christmas?"

"There is no work right now. Everyone says to apply again next November."

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."