Modern Santa Watchers Pillows

"I now make deliveries in the off-season too."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Pole dancers

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

Santa's elevator

"Just a reminder, Santa. Don't forget to yule log off when you're done."

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"It's all part of the new normal."

For Santa's Drone

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

Boy Clause

'How things have changed Mr Twinkle.'

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

'How come you're not registered anywhere on E-Bay?'

'It's all automated nowadays: Santa doesn't need to check the list twice anymore...'

'Santa sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been good, and he can find everyone's house with his GPS.'

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

The Kindle was first used used by Santa to keep track of the lists of naughty and nice children, and was originally called the Cringle.

Santa Needs a Brand New Way To Lug His Bag

Computer screen says 'Have you been naughty/nice?' Santa says to elf: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

Holiday Greetings

Santa Claus Christmas Texting

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

"...of course, you can always e-mail your list to my Ho-Ho-Hotmail account..."

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!"