Modern-day Santa Fans Pillows

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Pole dancers

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Santa's elevator

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"It's all part of the new normal."

For Santa's Drone

'It's all automated nowadays: Santa doesn't need to check the list twice anymore...'

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

Santa on street corner.

'How come you're not registered anywhere on E-Bay?'

Boy Clause

'Santa sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been good, and he can find everyone's house with his GPS.'

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

The Kindle was first used used by Santa to keep track of the lists of naughty and nice children, and was originally called the Cringle.

"Northern pole all-nighter

Santa Face in Sheep

"It's a great feeling to be able to give someone good news for a change..."

'How things have changed Mr Twinkle.'

Santa Needs a Brand New Way To Lug His Bag

Computer screen says 'Have you been naughty/nice?' Santa says to elf: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

Holiday Greetings

Criminal Santa Claus

"...of course, you can always e-mail your list to my Ho-Ho-Hotmail account..."

Santa Claus Christmas Texting

"I would like my entire class on your naughty list."