Modern Relationship Strategist Pillows

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You owe me five bucks."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."