Modern Relationship Navigator Pillows

"If you really want to know why I'm dumping you, you may want to check out my website where there's a long detailed explanation posted."

"Good to meet you, too, Sarah. See you in the A.M."

Man late home. Wife has left sign telling him his dinner is on a cook for yourself website.

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."