Modern Parenting Challenges Pillows

'He said his first complete sentence today.. 'I want my own cell phone'.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Phone Mittens

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."