Modern Parenting Struggles Pillows

"I'm being punished. For the next hour I have to stay out of WiFi range."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

Suffering from Cooties?

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

Phone Mittens

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."