Modern Parenting Struggles Prints

"I'm being punished. For the next hour I have to stay out of WiFi range."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

Phone Mittens

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'