Parenting Challenges Prints

'Have I failed so as a mother, Robert?'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'Everything's fine. Your dad just bought one of these 'How-to-talk-to-teenagers' videos...'

'I blame the internet.'

'I think we all agree that Randall has some anger issues.'

'Postpartum depression really hits you the day they turn 30, don't have a job and still live at home.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Parenting Wonks

"I want something that will make my kids notice me. Do you have anything that smells like a phone?"

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

'Sleeping like a baby'

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

"I don't care how much he won, I don't want him playing online poker!"

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'Completely unacceptable. I don't know how any son of mine could… Oh. OK, I see you even failed the DNA test.'

"You BOTH have the asshole gene?"

"Good News, Hon. They defunded Planned Parenthood.

'I don't worry when he calls from the door way or the front steps - only when he starts heading this way.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'I'll look for a babysitter using that new app I bought.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Try verbalizing it."

'Personally,I fancy a trial separation until the little ones leave home!'

The AdRams Family no.12 - Telling son to get fresh air

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

"I don't care if all your friends like that. You go back and put on some more insulation, young lady!"

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"But I am an engaged parent. Just the other day, I helped one of the kids with his or her homework."

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

"We shouldn't have had so many kids. Now they all want computers and phones."

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

He's going through that rebellious stage.

"You cast a heavy shadow on your son."

'Why don't you take up a sport,son-like long distance running-away from home?'