Modern Outdoors Lover Gifts

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Allotment

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

"It's such a lovely day!"

Fly Fishing

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Fishing sign.

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

'More bubbles!'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

The Brothers Grime

Country Bumpkin.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

Bike Rides

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"