Modern Myth Narrators Gifts

'We have to build an ark -- We're in for a MAJOR downsizing.'

"We only got six days of funding."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Eat my dust!"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Two Generations of Readers

Phoenix

Santa CGI Effect

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Updated Nursery Rhymes. And this little piggy played Wii, Wii, Wii all day long!

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

Unicorn in the Woods

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Europa takes a selfie

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

Santa Elevator

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

What happens on Noah's Ark stays on Noah's Ark.

"All the better to ignore you with."

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

Centaur Sprinter

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

'He was brought by the stork.'

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."