Modern Moses Fan Pillows

'I just received a text message.'

"Is there an audio edition?"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

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Snow White was a sucker for red apples, tattoos, and guys with beards.

The Mosskeytoe.

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

Santa's elevator

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

Santa '50s' Claus.

"How regularly would you say you ride off into the sunset?"

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

Moses crosses the Grand Central Parkway

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

'Can you get them on an e-reader?'

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

"Time for some herdin' music, eh, girl?"

'Food? Do you think I'm the kind of mother that cooks?'

'Couldn't you just text these to me?'

'I know a trap when I see one.'

"I think it's from Leonardo. He always signs-off with a smiley face."

'I can tell you a thing or two about bullying: I too grew up being called an ugly duckling...'

"More e-mails Mrs. Jones."

The Myth of Ariadne.