Modern Moses Fan Gifts

'I just received a text message.'

"Is there an audio edition?"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

I'm a child of the early 5o's who has found time in retirement to become tech savvy. You're a mid-century modern.

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

You Have 1 New Messages

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

The Mosskeytoe.

Snow White was a sucker for red apples, tattoos, and guys with beards.

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

Santa's elevator

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

Santa '50s' Claus.

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

"How regularly would you say you ride off into the sunset?"

Moses crosses the Grand Central Parkway

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

"Time for some herdin' music, eh, girl?"

'How things have changed Mr Twinkle.'

'How come you're not registered anywhere on E-Bay?'

Paul Weller

"Hey, you gotta give the old guy credit for at least trying."

'Santa doesn't need us any more. He just sits at his computer and sends out music and film downloads.'

'Can you get them on an e-reader?'

'Food? Do you think I'm the kind of mother that cooks?'

'Couldn't you just text these to me?'

'I know a trap when I see one.'

"More e-mails Mrs. Jones."

'I can tell you a thing or two about bullying: I too grew up being called an ugly duckling...'

The Myth of Ariadne.