Modern Family Fan Gifts

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'Paul, I think that Jane and yourself might make more progress if you left your boyfriend at home.'

'I know a trap when I see one.'

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

'Food? Do you think I'm the kind of mother that cooks?'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

My First Camera

At the market

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

I'm a child of the early 5o's who has found time in retirement to become tech savvy. You're a mid-century modern.

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"We moved here for the schools."

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

Freak Family.

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

"My daughter is a modern baby. She doesn't cry when she is hungry...she texts me."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"Can I have a pony?"

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

Snow White was a sucker for red apples, tattoos, and guys with beards.

'Wednesday wave.'

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

Santa '50s' Claus.

'In my day we called it 'parenting', not 'troubleshooting your kid'.'

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

"I'm such a trend-setter! I wear a bib, and now mom does too!"