Modern Monsters Pillows

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

Zombie standup

Love at First Sight

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Dead Funny

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Out To Lurch

Night of the Zombonies.

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

Myths and legends...

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."