Modern Meal Maker T-Shirts

"Our deluxe meal kit delivery service is only $20 more per month, and he'll even do the dishes."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Menu?? You mean you haven't downloaded our App?"

These scramble eggs are a tad crunchy. Did you leave the shells on again, Darling?

Please visit www.frtn_cookie.com.

I thought this year we'd do soup and salad.

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk, and take out.'

If you need anything else, just text me.

'Sire, that suckling pig with an apple in its mouth. . . do you want fries with that?'

The slow cooker changed everything

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

'Every traditional country kitchen needs an aga like this... It's perfect for keeping the microwave in.'

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the head and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

"A la carte, table d'hote or genetically modified, Sir?"

"And how exactly am I supposed to peel the carrots when we don't even have an electronic multiblade adjustable potato peeler?"

'Now I can see why our son's roommates won't let him cook.'

Irony pie