Modern Eater T-Shirts

"Do we know what we're getting ourselves into with spelt?"

'I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk, and take out.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

'Tweet me when I'm flagged...hashtag 'drunk'.'

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

Prosecco Drinker

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

The Lesser Pyramids

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Vendo Tree.

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'

'They wanted to compliment you on the porridge.'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

"Menu?? You mean you haven't downloaded our App?"

Feed & Grain. Credit Cards and E-Payments Only. Being a cash cow is tougher than it used to be.

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'Sire, that suckling pig with an apple in its mouth. . . do you want fries with that?'

The slow cooker changed everything

Molecular Gastronomy Restaurant.