Modern Dining Enthusiast T-Shirts

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"You and your daft inventions."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign