Modern Dining Adventurer T-Shirts

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

Roadkill Restaurant

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

Arabian Cuisine

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

'Anchovies.'