Modern Meal Connoisseur Gifts

"A la carte, table d'hote or genetically modified, Sir?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Regular service or affected?"

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"Quick swig first?"

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

The Aisle

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

Slow food restaurant

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'